How To Stop Feeling Alone And Lonely

For most of my life, the biggest and scariest monster under my bed was LONELINESS.

I remember feeling it as a kid. It was a result of feeling left out. Of feeling unworthy and inadequate.

This monster accompanied me for most of my life.

I was a people pleaser because I wanted to belong so I did not feel lonely.

I was always super nurturing because taking care of others made me feel needed, which made me feel less lonely.

I had almost weekly dinner gatherings at my house because having my kitchen filled with friends was one of my greatest joys. It made me feel less lonely.

As a business owner, my need to be liked got in the way of my leadership. I didn’t want to feel alone.

Many times, I felt like there was something wrong with me, because loneliness was painful.

I also felt alone with this feeling.

I did not talk about it. I felt weak and ashamed about it.

I often tried to put the monster under the rug by distracting myself with work, whiskey, working out excessively, being social when in reality I would have preferred to rest and be alone.

Years ago, when I started as a business coach, a theme started to emerge: many of my clients did things that were ultimately motivated by the biggest common fear. The fear of loneliness.

I realized I was not alone after all. I was in great company.

I started to share how I had dealt with this monster.

My coaching business started to shift from pure business coaching to a more holistic approach.

Here are my top three insights about loneliness:

✨       If you feel lonely, you are not alone

✨      Our inner game determines our outer gains: it is crucial to have an awareness of what motivates not just our personal decisions, but our business/professional decisions. The outcome and with that, our success, depends on it.

✨      Loneliness is not a monster. It is totally misunderstood. Nothing to be ashamed of and totally manageable. You can actually make it work FOR yourself.

I hope this gives you another perspective on the dreaded feeling of loneliness.

Message me if you want to know more or just want to share how you feel. Because of my own experiences, I am very passionate about this topic. Nobody should suffer from this and certainly shouldn’t suffer alone. 💝