Why Happiness is a Bad Goal

I used to believe that achieving my goals was the key to my happiness. 

I would think, “Once I reach my goal, then I’ll be happy.” But happiness was always something reserved for my future self. Whether in business or personal life, I set ambitious goals, and no matter the obstacles, I made them happen. I turned every business I started into a multi-seven-figure success. I became a professional bodybuilder in my early 50s, and I had children despite doctors telling me it would never be possible.

But about five years ago—yes, it took me that long—I realized something important: while achieving all these goals was remarkable, they didn’t bring me the lasting happiness I expected. I was tired of constantly chasing shiny objects. It was exhausting. I felt drained, empty, hopeless, and even depressed, like a hamster on a wheel, questioning the meaning of it all.

Here's what I discovered about a goals-first mindset:

- It constantly pushes happiness into the future, waiting for the next achievement.

- It narrows your version of happiness: either you succeed and feel momentarily satisfied, or you fall short and feel disappointed.

- Achieving a goal only brings fleeting happiness. Then what? Another goal? This approach creates a cycle of ups and downs.

On top of that, we all know that life doesn’t always go according to plan, especially at this stage in our lives. When things change, we feel compelled to adjust our goals, and that too becomes exhausting.

That’s when I realized I needed a new approach. What I’m about to share isn’t easy, but it’s essential. I still catch myself falling into old habits of goal-chasing, but I’ve learned this: having a goal is important—it gives us direction—but the real key is focusing on the process, the journey, instead of the destination. I know it sounds cliché. But stay with me.

The process should align with what truly makes you happy. That way, you don't have to wait for some future milestone to allow yourself to feel joy. A process is also more flexible; it can adapt to life’s changing circumstances. Success can come in many forms, not just the one you originally envisioned. Because, as we all know, life is full of moving parts—both good and challenging. If we’re too rigid in our expectations, life becomes a struggle.

 Life is a constant cycle of refinement and improvement. Your commitment to the process will determine your progress and ultimately, your success.

What does it really mean to focus on the process? Stay tuned, because in my next post, I’m going to break it all down for you. I’ll dive into what it takes to create a process that fosters ongoing happiness, and I’ll share hands-on, step-by-step strategies that you can start applying right away. I promise this will be practical, actionable, and achievable.

 Mark your calendar and check back with me on Wednesday—you won’t want to miss it!